I'm a grown up, dammit!!

A rare day off......

2008-01-21T09:03:00.001-06:00

Yep, today I have the day off. And I don't even have a sick kid. Or a crisis of some sort. Just a rare day off, due to my kids being out of school. My husband is even home today. My life won't go back to "normal" until Wednesday. Because you see, the fucktards that run our school system had the bright idea to give us TWO days off. After a weekend. Normally I wouldn't mind. But I'm kind of in a place right now where I crave normalcy. Because as most of you know, I'm not anything near normal.

Nothing too terribly exciting has been going on around here, just living life and still trying to adjust to being a "working mom". After twelve and a half years of being a stay-at-home-mom, entering the work place hasn't been a very smooth transition. For those of you that are worried that my job sucks, don't. I actually really like my job, most days, even though I couldn't explain to you what I do in under 500 words. My bosses are amazing, I love them. Luckily for me, they love me too. Of course, it helps a lot that I was friends with the wife for 10 years before I started working for them. It also helps that I'm the smartest employee they have. And they know it too. And yes, I'm aware that I have a very high opinion of myself. Someone has to.

The hardest part of working is trying to get it all done. The laundry, the grocery shopping, blogging, etc. And sex. Oh how I miss sex. But most days, I'm so freaking tired from doing two jobs, that I'm exhausted. "Oh Julie, you stupid bitch, most women have done this for years". I can hear some of you saying. Well dammit, this bitch hasn't. And she's tired. So gimme a break, I sure deserve one. Damn, Nell Carter sure knew how to shake it. (I know that someone out there got that reference.)

So is there a point to my post? Not really, there never is. Today's my day off. Whatever shall I do with myself? Anyone have any ideas?

Gay porn has it's merits.....

2008-01-15T18:49:00.000-06:00

So I've been busy. Yes, I promised myself I would post more. And I always intend to, but dammit, I'm tired. Soooooo tired. But, I'm here, isn't that good enough for today?

Ok, before I digress too far from the title, I'll just jump right in. Gay porn. I have no problem with people being gay. Admit it, embrace it, lick it, suck it, whatever. But if you're gonna be gay, be gay. Don't parade around as a hetero if you're not. I realize there are stigmas. But shit, gimme a break. Let me set the stage, mkay? I regularly do computer work at work. I have to type things for our business, which sometimes leads me to the internet. One of the things we do at my office is we have to look up obituaries from the internet to copy and send to our clients. It's not some weird fetish thing, it's a service dammit.

Anyway, one day a few weeks ago, I had to find a few. No problem, I'm internet savvy. The next morning, I realized that I needed one more, so I went to the history on the computer to find the website addy since I hadn't had enough of my daily coffee intake to make my brain function. Well lo and behold, what did I find? GAY BOY PORN (edited to add: it's not kiddie porn, but the boys are probably 18, which is a boy to me). The only other person that uses that specific computer is a 68 year old grandfather. EWWWWWW, it's like thinking your grandpa likes it up the ass. Ick ick ick. And yes, I took note of the website so I could peruse it at a later date, to make sure my suspicions were correct. And they were. And now I'm scarred for life. I'm not gay, nor am I a male. And that is not what floats my boat.

Ok, so life moves on, right? Right. Until last weekend when I went out and found a rolled up pamphlet in my driveway. Looked kinda like a newspaper, so I took it inside. Well lo and behold, what did I find? The KKK. Recruiting papers for the KKK, to be exact. I felt defiled. Violated. Kind of like with the porn. I didn't ask for this to be presented before me, yet here it is. I quickly through it in the trash before my children saw it. Because my kids have big mouths and I can see my 5 yr old going to school and saying something, innocently of course, and then me getting phone calls from irate school officials.

Yep, my life feels like a Maury Povich show. It really does. At least it's not the "I'm a 16 yr old and I don't know which one of these 14 men fathered my baby..." episode.

I'm no Veruca Salt, dammit!

2008-01-04T06:00:00.000-06:00

This week has flown by. Actually, time has flown by the last 4 months. Is it any coincidence that I started working 4 months ago? Points to ponder people.

Actually, I've been busy as hell. Between working, trying to keep my children from killing each other while I'm at work, putting away the massive amount of Christmas shit and cleaning house, I'm a mess. Tired as hell once I get home, but I guess that's the American way or some shit like that. I'm sure there are people in 3rd world countries who would give their right arm for my life. Some days they can have it, but I want a Queen's life instead of their's. Yep, I'm a bitch. And I make no apologies for it.

And apparently, according to Chuck, I'm a spoiled bitch. (For those of you that don't know, Chuck is my best friend, and will be mentioned here. A lot. He's just as retarded as me.) Why am I spoiled, you ask? Again, according to Chuck, my parents spoil me. Which is not entirely true. If that truly were the case, I wouldn't be driving a 3 yr old Suburban, have a mortgage or have saggy boobs in dire need of a breast lift. But, they are sending me, Paul, & the rugrats on a 7 day, 6 night trip to Disney World in June. We're flying (thank God, because I would kill someone if I had to drive for 20 hours one way with my entire family, dvd player with headphones be damned), staying in 2 hotel rooms, spending money, etc. Yes, it's a hella nice gift. Yes, I whined about it a few posts ago. But it's back on now.

Anyway, I digress. The only reason we got the trip is because my parents decided that they couldn't do it. They had originally intended to take the kids by themselves, but soon after realized how big of an undertaking it was going to be. And so, since they had already promised the trip to their precious grand-spawn, they gave the trip to us. Which is awesome, no doubt. There is no way we could pull 10 grand out of our asses to front this trip, so I'm truly grateful. But dammit all to hell, trying to book all this shit is giving me MORE gray hair. Seriously, I'm only 34 years old, and I have more gray hair than my mother. Granted, she only had one kid, me, and I was perfect in every way. But I have 3. And 3 is a helluva lot more than 1. Trust me on this one.

I have no idea where I was going to go with this post, but obviously I veered off into Insanity Land. Oh yeah, I was going to talk about sex. Damn, if I'm too tired to even write about sex, then God knows I'm too tired to actually have sex. My poor husband. Sucks to be him.

Ok, I'm coming back to add: Veruca Salt was the spoiled rich girl from Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. "Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa!" Ring a bell?

Happy New Year!!!

2007-12-31T23:42:00.000-06:00

Ok, so technically it's 7 minutes til 2008 here, but whatever. I'm looking forward to 2008!!!

Sometimes life's a bitch.

2007-12-30T20:37:00.000-06:00

Just when you think your life is going well, something comes along to kick you in the figurative nuts. Case in point: this past fall, my parents were going to take my kids to Disney World over the week of Halloween. Soon after school started, we (Paul, me, my parents) all decided that taking them out of school for a week might not be the best plan. So after much deliberation, they decided to give Paul & I the trip. We were going to go in June of 2008.

Fast forward to this month, we're making our plans, scheduling every last detail, etc. I get a phone call from my mother. Apparently the airlines are giving them a bunch of crap about transferring the plane tickets. They are now refusing to let them transfer them to us. And if they don't, my parents will be out 4 grand to buy us new ones. Which they don't want to do, understandably. Plus, 1500 in tickets will be wasted. Wasted.

So now, I get to tell my girls, again, that we're not going to DW. We had to tell them back in September, when we thought the trip was just going to be cancelled. Then we told them that hooray, we ARE going. And now, I get to be the bad guy again.

Plus, I was really getting excited. I've never been to DW before and thought a 6 day trip with my kids would be wonderful. Especially a free trip. A trip like that was going to be a once in a lifetime deal.

Today sucks. Today I don't want to be a grown up.

The return

2007-12-26T21:15:00.000-06:00

Yeah, I said I was done with blogging. But dammit, I sure as hell missed it. I truly love having an outlet where I can say whatever I want, whenever I want. Censoring myself in my day to day life isn't fun, especially considering I have a big mouth. I try to be nice, but it's so freaking hard sometimes. Especially when you consider that I'm a huge bitch. Believe it or not, I don't try to piss people off, it just happens that way. I have a special knack for it.

I promise to try to blog at least once or twice a week. Dammit, I said I'd try, what else do you want from me?